PromisesYou promised me never to give up. No matter what it is, no matter what happens, to just keep going. Please always keep that promise, and always believe in your own future. Because although people like me might seem to be more successful and to have better futures, it's people like you who make the world a better place.
You've said before that you're bad, because you do all the "bad things" like drink and smoke and stuff like that. But those are just the little things, the trivial outward behaviour that doesn't even have much to do with who we really are. What's important is the heart, and I might not have known you for very long, or maybe I might just have been surrounded by the wrong people my whole life, but I think you have the best heart out of anyone else I've met. Maybe you're still immature, and your worldview is still a little narrow, but what's at the centre of it all--the feelings in your heart, your character--is so...pure. I can't explain it, but I can see it in how broken up you were when your best friend got hurt, in how you struggle between love and resentment of your parents, and perhaps most of all in our friendship.
Most of the time, when a guy I like rejects me, I just stop talking to him because I'm afraid of getting shunned, of being regarded as clingy and desperate, and at the very least of the awkwardness that will always hang between him and me. But it's not like that with you. Even if you never like me back, I'll be happy just being friends with you forever. Because your friendship is more beautiful than any romantic connection I've ever felt. Knowing that I have a place in your heart and that you care for me as a friend...that's enough. Just to be beside you as your friend, just to see you smile, gives me this warm, indescribable feeling I've never felt before. For once in my life, I care about someone without the need for possession, without expecting anything. And so I'm happy. I can keep the promise that I made to you, without forcing or lying to myself.
Sometimes I wish there could be something more. Sometimes when I'm with you, I wish it could last forever, but it doesn't. And sometimes, when you're unhappy and there's nothing I can do to help you, it hurts just to breathe. But I'm still happy. I'm glad I met you. And I know that all I really want is to see you always happy, always smiling. The first time I saw your smile, I thought it was like brilliant sunlight streaming through the layer of crystalline ice that is your deceptive outer appearance. It was like a little bit of your heart shining out through your outer appearance of...bad-ness. It was one of the most wondrous things I've ever seen.
だから, keep smiling. Perhaps I'm not capable for it, but I'll always be here, trying to be the shooting star that lights up the sky above you. Because you lit up my life first.
愛しています。
